People Pleasing through Gossip Culture

Seated comfortably on a leather chair, I found myself immersed in gossip, one rumor after another. "You didn't hear this from me-" "I haven't told anyone else this but-" "I love her but-". As the stories flowed, I sensed myself disassociating, observing the speaker's figure in a flurry of fast and slow-motion moments. In all of this I chose to stay silent - I had just committed an unforgivable offence at the hair salon.

Unsure of what stung worse, her post lingering silence while she meticulously styled my hair or her visible irritation at my unexpected option for no response. As she finished curling my hair, she repeated, "You do agree, don't you?" Her mouth's corners twitched, a desperate smile seeking relief, in hope that she wasn't the only one completely immersed in the latest drama that we both had no relation to.

When you are a chronic people pleaser, all you crave is acceptance, belonging, and validation. Being part of these gossip-driven conversations may feel like a gateway to building connections with others. One little “I completely agree with you” and it feels like you’re in - you finally belong. Hoping it will strengthen your social bonds. But when the conversation is over and the fun and laughs die down, on your self-development journey, you'll start to notice that you sacrificed who you want to be for what others want you to be.

I remember this scene from Mr. Fantastic Fox when he said, "I don't want to live in a hole anymore." My question to you is, on your development journey, do you have a hole that you want to leave behind?

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